Life's Ups ..... and Downs

My up moment: When my ex-boyfriend told me that he "tried" to love me, it was like a light bulb went off and I thought: I don't need a boyfriend anymore! I don't need the drama!! There is a lot of drama going on and I don't need a boyfriend in the mix!! Heck, I have school that I am trying to get done with and I have volunteering and I have work on the farm!!! Besides, I dont need a guy who "tries" to love me!! Either you love a person, or you don't!! I personally would love to have a person who loves me because he wants to and not because he feels like he hass to! Does that make sense??

My down moment: When I watch romantic movies ..... I start reverting back to the old me. I say: "I wish I had that" or "That is so romantic" and I start crying because I feel left out. I then start crying out to God and asking why!!! Why don't I have a boyfriend? Why aren't there guys lined up at my back door?? When I have a boyfriend why does he "try" to love me!! When is my time coming??

I know that I have said this before but, I just feel like the reason why I dont have a guy is because God is waiting on me to grow up just a little bit more.

My up moment: Its so wonderful that my brothers meds are working! He is going to lead such a healthy life!! Gee, I wonder when I will get to see him again .....

My down moment: WHAT??? His meds stop working?? He needs a bone marrow transplant??? Thank goodness my older sister is a match!! Will I ever get to see him again?? I'm so scared!! I don't want my brother to die!!! Lord, please take care of him!!

If only people really knew that I almost cry over my brother. No one knows how scared I am because I put on a happy face. There are times (like during prayer or during a church hymn) that I cry for him. I just want him better!! He wont admit it but, I'm sure he is suffering!

Philippians 4:6 ~ Be anxious for nothing, but in everything through prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be known to God; and the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus"

Jeremiah 29:11 ~ "For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord. Plans to prosper you and not to harm you. Plans to give you hope and a future."

Lord,
Please continue to help me to not think about what I don't need right now! I know that I don't need one and I know that Your timing is impeccable and I also know that good things will come to those who wait!!! Please continue to help me be patient. Thank you for NEVER giving up on me!!

Lord, please be with my brother as he goes through this trying time in his life! Also, please be with my Dad, Mom, Sister and sister in law. Father, help them through this! Lord, be with me, here on the home front! Be with everyone that I care about, Lord. In your name I pray, A-men!!


Thank you for taking the time to read this! I hope that it is not boring!!