A Little Bit about the Farmers Daughter

I know that I’ve had this blog for a while and even though I don’t need an introduction, I’d like to tell y’all something about me.

I would like to tell y’all a secret. A secret that if I wouldn’t tell, y’all may never know.

The secret is that I have a part of a chromosome that is missing. It’s called a chromosome deletion.

The deletion I have is so rare that it doesn’t have a name, it just has a number. The number is: 10q26.3 (try googling it if you don’t believe me). That means that the tip of my 10q26 chromosome is missing at 26.3 (I’m only on aware of one person in England that has it). Like I said, you would have never known my secret if I hadn’t of told you because you can’t see it with the naked eye. 

My chromosome deletion effects my cognitive and motor skills (which is why I’m not good at sports). OK, I was semi good at volleyball (for a year or two) but, that was because I had a good coach who worked with me.

A baby example that my Mom often gives is: When I was a baby, I got a spanking for coloring on the wall in the den. I learned that I was not allowed to do that but, it didn’t register that I was not supposed to color on the walls in the hall either so, I got another spanking

Math is another example … Don’t get me started on that. I can do basic stuff like adding, subtracting, multiplying and dividing but when it comes to the word problems, I start struggling because I don’t understand.

My Mom is always saying “You have to give me some time to figure out a way to explain this so you can understand.” or she’ll say “You just don’t. That’s it!” or “You just do. That’s it!”. Believe me, I’d like to be able to understand things. I think I can but please, don’t give me more information than I can handle. Tell me to do stuff one thing at a time. Be patient with me when it comes to euphemisms and abstract thinking.

I was scared to write this because I thought that people would think less of me but, this is the way God made me and He doesn’t make mistakes. I’m no longer holding back with God’s grace and mercy in my life. I’m no longer holding back on the things that God wants others to see through me.

By "no longer holding back", I mean that if someone comes up to me asking me about it, I'm not going to hid it from them. I'm going to be as honest as I can.

In Christ Alone

A friend of mine posted a video to this song on facebook and it got me to thinking.  It could not have come at a better time for me in my life. My life has been nothing but an emotional roller coaster. Emotional on so many levels. From still not believing that my brother has a son (I just can't believe it) to actually realizing that he is finally home (I still can't believe this either)!! I honestly thought that it would be smooth sailing from here. It's not. A friend told me that "What does not kill you makes you stronger." To which I replied, "Well, if that is the case then I'm a lot stronger than I was 3 years ago (when Will was diagnosed with CML).

Through God's faithfulness, we will get through this trial!! Please pray for me!! Thanks!!

In Christ alone my hope is found
He is my light, my strength, my song
This Cornerstone, this solid ground
Firm through the fiercest drought and storm

What heights of love, what depths of peace
When fears are stilled, when strivings cease
My Comforter, my All in All
Here in the love of Christ I stand

In Christ alone, who took on flesh
Fullness of God in helpless Babe
This gift of love and righteousness
Scorned by the ones He came to save
 

Til on that cross as Jesus died
The wrath of God was satisfied
For every sin on Him was laid
Here in the death of Christ I live, I live

There in the ground His body lay
Light of the world by darkness slain
Then bursting forth in glorious Day
Up from the grave He rose again

And as He stands in victory
Sins curse has lost its grip on me
For I am His and He is mine
Bought with the precious blood of Christ

No guilt in life, no fear in death
This is the power of Christ in me
From a life's first cry to final breath
Jesus commands my destiny

No power of hell, no scheme of man
Could ever pluck me from His hand

Til He returns or calls me home
Here in the power of Christ I stand

Life's Ups ..... and Downs

My up moment: When my ex-boyfriend told me that he "tried" to love me, it was like a light bulb went off and I thought: I don't need a boyfriend anymore! I don't need the drama!! There is a lot of drama going on and I don't need a boyfriend in the mix!! Heck, I have school that I am trying to get done with and I have volunteering and I have work on the farm!!! Besides, I dont need a guy who "tries" to love me!! Either you love a person, or you don't!! I personally would love to have a person who loves me because he wants to and not because he feels like he hass to! Does that make sense??

My down moment: When I watch romantic movies ..... I start reverting back to the old me. I say: "I wish I had that" or "That is so romantic" and I start crying because I feel left out. I then start crying out to God and asking why!!! Why don't I have a boyfriend? Why aren't there guys lined up at my back door?? When I have a boyfriend why does he "try" to love me!! When is my time coming??

I know that I have said this before but, I just feel like the reason why I dont have a guy is because God is waiting on me to grow up just a little bit more.

My up moment: Its so wonderful that my brothers meds are working! He is going to lead such a healthy life!! Gee, I wonder when I will get to see him again .....

My down moment: WHAT??? His meds stop working?? He needs a bone marrow transplant??? Thank goodness my older sister is a match!! Will I ever get to see him again?? I'm so scared!! I don't want my brother to die!!! Lord, please take care of him!!

If only people really knew that I almost cry over my brother. No one knows how scared I am because I put on a happy face. There are times (like during prayer or during a church hymn) that I cry for him. I just want him better!! He wont admit it but, I'm sure he is suffering!

Philippians 4:6 ~ Be anxious for nothing, but in everything through prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be known to God; and the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus"

Jeremiah 29:11 ~ "For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord. Plans to prosper you and not to harm you. Plans to give you hope and a future."

Lord,
Please continue to help me to not think about what I don't need right now! I know that I don't need one and I know that Your timing is impeccable and I also know that good things will come to those who wait!!! Please continue to help me be patient. Thank you for NEVER giving up on me!!

Lord, please be with my brother as he goes through this trying time in his life! Also, please be with my Dad, Mom, Sister and sister in law. Father, help them through this! Lord, be with me, here on the home front! Be with everyone that I care about, Lord. In your name I pray, A-men!!


Thank you for taking the time to read this! I hope that it is not boring!!

Getting my G.E.D

Romans 8:28 ~ "And we know that ALL THINGS work together for good to those who love God and to those who are called according to his purpose."

Getting my GED has been hard. I have had many unsuccessful attempts! Until this year....

I can't remember exactly when I first started attempting to get it but, I think it was in 2006 and for the second attempt it was 2009.

In the fall of 2010, I felt so secure in my position at the vet office. (HINT: Never be secure in your jobs because it can be taken away from you in a heartbeat!!) I was the receptionist! I can do this!! The thought of getting the GED entered my mind but, it stayed in the back.... way back. I didn't think about it again until, the unthinkable happened! I lost my job (on December 13, 2010)! I was upset for a while but, I realized that I could not be upset with my bosses! They are one of the nicest people ever!!

I went and thanked them (my boss and his wife) for it later because if it hadn't of been for them firing me, I would never have gotten the incentive to take GED classes!!

**Enters 2011**

Many of you know (or might not know) that I have a very difficult time with learning. I did graduate (from homeschooling) with a few contingencies (meaning that I just squeaked by enough to satisfy the State). I do have a diploma and it says that I graduated from my homeschool group but, it is not accredited! Why you ask? To get into college (in Alabama) you have to make a certain score on the SAT (or is it ACT?) or you have to have graduated from an accredited school. I have never tested well and I knew that with my learning disability that I could not make enough to pass a test to get into college so, I'm having to take classes and get a G.E.D (General Equivalent Diploma).

Anyway, I was not overly anxious to try again but, I decided to give my teacher -to-be a chance. I knew of her and my parents knew of her and her husband. Her husband works at the local experiment station (I'll explain what that is later) and they go to our church. I prayed about getting my GED again and I told God, "Lord, you talk about stepping out on faith on things. Well, I'm stepping out on faith! I can’t do this on my own and I would like your help! Please help me to see this through!" I'm truly amazed that I have stayed with it this long!! God is so good!!!


Ephesians 4:6 ~ "Be anxious for nothing, but in everything through prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be known to God; and the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus"


I've not really been scared but, I have been tested both mentally and physically. There have been days when I didn't want to go but, then, I would remember what Mrs. Vickie would say to me when I got discouraged. She didn't say anything special but, she would simply say: "Kate, don't get discouraged. I believe in you and I KNOW that you can do it and get it done!!" I have been so faithful in going to my classes that she would understand if/when I told her that I needed a break.

I've been taking classes since January 11 and I had a plan! I was going to be done with class in May and I was going to graduate. Well, that didn't work out so, I have a new plan!!! I'm hoping (and with God's help) to graduate in December!!

I feel like I'm putting my heart on my sleeve with this. Go easy on me, please!! My life is much harder than y'all think!!

Jeremiah 29:11 ~ "For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord. Plans to prosper you and not to harm you. Plans to give you hope and a future."

Rambling??

I've been trying to rake my brain for something particular to write about but, I cant seem to find what it is that I want to right about. So, I'm just going to write about random things. They will be put into paragraphs.

For the past few days, I've been helping Mom pick up pecans in a yard across from our house. I think that I have overdone things with the picking up of the pecans. I've not felt good lately. I have figured out that the scars from my appendectomy do not stretch. I suppose that I will pick up pecans tomorrow as well!!

My brother. Alot can happen in a year. This past February had been a year since he was diagnosed with CML. In September I learned that the meds that he had been taking that kept him in remission had quit working. He now needs a bone marrow transplant. The good news is is that my sister (who lives in NC) is a perfect match!! God is good!! Yesterday (Sunday) was their (my brother and sister in laws) one year wedding anniversary. In fact, it seems just like yesterday that they were getting married in the beautiful mountains of Angel Fire, New Mexico!! Oh, it was so pretty!! I want to go back and perhaps maybe one day I will get that chance!

Since my surgery, I have not been able to participate in harvest at all. We are almost done picking cotton. I had to sit that crop out due to it being such strenuous work. I mean, with the pushing and pulling that I would have to do in order to work the cotton module builder. Next is peanuts!! I can do peanuts easy!! All I will have to do is drive a truck (that weighs 3/4 of a ton) puling a peanut trailer (that weighs about 8 tons)!! If y'all think I am scared, believe me when I tell you that I am not.

I must admit that when I started writing this blog that I felt so down and out but after to talking to a very special and dear fried, I feel a whole lot better!! Thanks, Melanie!! Such a dear friend!!

Anyway ........

My life. It is busy to say the least. Would I have it any other way? Of course not. It is hard sometimes when I think about certain persons and I wish upon every star that things could be different. Then I realize that there is no such thing as a "fairy tale" relationship Things will get better though! I just have to keep believing. Alot of tears have been shed. Especially when I see a couple who is so much in love!! My heart aches because I want that. In the Bible, it says that God gives us the desires of our hearts. God knows what I want so, I really don't have to tell him. I really do think that God is waiting on my to grow up!!

What is my schedule like? Well, it consists of me doing the following: Mondays: Volunteer at a local hospital, Tuesdays: school, Wednesdays: volunteering at a local hospital, going to church and teaching GA's, and Thursdays: going to school!! Fridays and Saturdays is my free day to do whatever. Sundays are reserved for going to church!

Speaking of church, this past Sunday was the first time that I went to a particular church for several months. I was able to hear the testimony of Siran Stacy! If you dont know who he is, I urge you to look him up!! Tomorrow (Wednesday) I will be going back to teaching GA's for the first time since my surgery!! I cant wait. I hope that I will not be disappointed!!

Thanksgiving? Will we all be here together?? Who knows! We are waiting on God's perfect timing!!

Well, I think this is every thing that I wanted to say!! Oh, sorry about the randomness of everything!! I shall write more when I am not about to conk out!!

Letting go .....

... of things and letting God handle them is a hard thing to do. I'm struggling with it. I pray for relief from burdens and I feel fine for a few moments and then, it returns and I ask myself, "Why is this burden that I just prayed to God to carry for me returning?"

Someone said that it is because I am not focusing on God like I should be doing. That in those for moments when it is lifted, I'm focusing on Him so, He carries it for me. When I am not, it falls back on my shoulders. I'm having a very hard struggle with the whole "Let go, and let God" thing. I know that to some people my world might look at peace and put together but, its not. Those who now me know how my word has been turned upside down and rolled over a few times. I'm learning to hand things over to God. Its hard. In my struggle, I am having to constantly ask God to take away this or that burden and he does ... when I keep my focus on Him.

Just as I am typing this a certain verse came to my mind. It is found in Isaiah 26:3. It reads: "Thou will keep him in perfect peace, whose mind is stayed on You, because he trusts in You" !!

That is exactly what I need to be doing! Trusting in Him!!! If I can just learn to trust God in ALL THINGS and not just in some things, I will be doing great.

Another erse just came to my mind!! Its is found in 1Peter 5:7. It reads: "... Cast ALL your cares upon Him for he cares for you"

You know, there is no use in fighting God in what he tells me to do! He tells me to trust in Him and to cast ALL (not just some) my cares on Him. All because he cares for me!!

Sorry (although not really) to have been preachy! I sure did need to write this out though and there was no better place to write it out then on my blog!! I feel so much better!!! I hope that someone has been blessed by reading this!