Forcing Myself

I received a very nice and heart felt letter from a member of my church. In it she tells me to trust God and make him MY EVERYTHING!! MY ALL!! MY PROVIDER and COMFORTER!! MY JEHOVAH JIREH (sp)!!! MY HEALER!! She also tells me to love him, tell him that I want whatever His will is for my life, that I want to grow closer to him everyday! No matter how my life unfolds, I know that I belong to God!!! He is mine and I am His!! I needed this letter. It is true that while I was reading and and while Momma read it to me that I was crying!!

Now,here comes the forcing myself part:

I'm having to force myself not to think about him (my-ex).
I'm having to constantly stay focused on things because if I don't, I will think about him.
I'm having to constantly pray to God to take this heart ache away!

This is not going to be easy for me but, I will get over it .... one day. I'm not afraid to admit that I still cry at night but, Its just like the chorus of the song "Blessings" by Laura Story says:

Cause what if Your blessings come through raindrops
What if Your healing comes through tears?
And what if a thousand sleepless nights
Are what it takes to know You're near?

Also, the song by Kari Jobe "Healer":

You hold my every moment
You calm my raging seas
You walk with me through fire
And heal all my disease

I trust in You
I trust in You

I believe You're my healer
I believe You are all I need
I believe You're my portion
I believe You're more than enough for me
Jesus, You're all I need

You hold my every moment
You calm my raging seas
You walk with me through fire
And heal all my disease

I trust in You
I trust in You

I believe You're my healer
I believe You are all I need
I believe You're my portion
I believe You're more than enough for me
Jesus, You're all I need

Nothing is impossible for You
Nothing is impossible for You
Nothing is impossible for You
Nothing is impossible for You