Status messages that I cant post on Facebook (More to come at a later date)

1. If a guy wants me to call him he will have to pay me $500 up front. Never again will I pay off a $1,400 phone bill all by myself.

2. I was 3 minutes away from the vet office and they called me and told me that they were slow and that i didnt need to come in ~ Added: 5/30/10

I will add more later as I think of them .....