In Christ Alone

A friend of mine posted a video to this song on facebook and it got me to thinking.  It could not have come at a better time for me in my life. My life has been nothing but an emotional roller coaster. Emotional on so many levels. From still not believing that my brother has a son (I just can't believe it) to actually realizing that he is finally home (I still can't believe this either)!! I honestly thought that it would be smooth sailing from here. It's not. A friend told me that "What does not kill you makes you stronger." To which I replied, "Well, if that is the case then I'm a lot stronger than I was 3 years ago (when Will was diagnosed with CML).

Through God's faithfulness, we will get through this trial!! Please pray for me!! Thanks!!

In Christ alone my hope is found
He is my light, my strength, my song
This Cornerstone, this solid ground
Firm through the fiercest drought and storm

What heights of love, what depths of peace
When fears are stilled, when strivings cease
My Comforter, my All in All
Here in the love of Christ I stand

In Christ alone, who took on flesh
Fullness of God in helpless Babe
This gift of love and righteousness
Scorned by the ones He came to save
 

Til on that cross as Jesus died
The wrath of God was satisfied
For every sin on Him was laid
Here in the death of Christ I live, I live

There in the ground His body lay
Light of the world by darkness slain
Then bursting forth in glorious Day
Up from the grave He rose again

And as He stands in victory
Sins curse has lost its grip on me
For I am His and He is mine
Bought with the precious blood of Christ

No guilt in life, no fear in death
This is the power of Christ in me
From a life's first cry to final breath
Jesus commands my destiny

No power of hell, no scheme of man
Could ever pluck me from His hand

Til He returns or calls me home
Here in the power of Christ I stand

Life's Ups ..... and Downs

My up moment: When my ex-boyfriend told me that he "tried" to love me, it was like a light bulb went off and I thought: I don't need a boyfriend anymore! I don't need the drama!! There is a lot of drama going on and I don't need a boyfriend in the mix!! Heck, I have school that I am trying to get done with and I have volunteering and I have work on the farm!!! Besides, I dont need a guy who "tries" to love me!! Either you love a person, or you don't!! I personally would love to have a person who loves me because he wants to and not because he feels like he hass to! Does that make sense??

My down moment: When I watch romantic movies ..... I start reverting back to the old me. I say: "I wish I had that" or "That is so romantic" and I start crying because I feel left out. I then start crying out to God and asking why!!! Why don't I have a boyfriend? Why aren't there guys lined up at my back door?? When I have a boyfriend why does he "try" to love me!! When is my time coming??

I know that I have said this before but, I just feel like the reason why I dont have a guy is because God is waiting on me to grow up just a little bit more.

My up moment: Its so wonderful that my brothers meds are working! He is going to lead such a healthy life!! Gee, I wonder when I will get to see him again .....

My down moment: WHAT??? His meds stop working?? He needs a bone marrow transplant??? Thank goodness my older sister is a match!! Will I ever get to see him again?? I'm so scared!! I don't want my brother to die!!! Lord, please take care of him!!

If only people really knew that I almost cry over my brother. No one knows how scared I am because I put on a happy face. There are times (like during prayer or during a church hymn) that I cry for him. I just want him better!! He wont admit it but, I'm sure he is suffering!

Philippians 4:6 ~ Be anxious for nothing, but in everything through prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be known to God; and the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus"

Jeremiah 29:11 ~ "For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord. Plans to prosper you and not to harm you. Plans to give you hope and a future."

Lord,
Please continue to help me to not think about what I don't need right now! I know that I don't need one and I know that Your timing is impeccable and I also know that good things will come to those who wait!!! Please continue to help me be patient. Thank you for NEVER giving up on me!!

Lord, please be with my brother as he goes through this trying time in his life! Also, please be with my Dad, Mom, Sister and sister in law. Father, help them through this! Lord, be with me, here on the home front! Be with everyone that I care about, Lord. In your name I pray, A-men!!


Thank you for taking the time to read this! I hope that it is not boring!!

Do I have a stalker???

Building up to main story:

Many of y'all know that I went to Auburn a couple of months ago seeking solidarity and time to my self along with time spent with Lily and Gracie, right?? Well, Lauren and Samantha (Becky - Uncle Jerry's daughters kids) were there also. Lauren and Samantha went to go see a psychiatrist (in Opelika - near Auburn) due to family issues up where they live so, I went along. There I met this guy (Aunt Judy told me later that I should not of talked to him cause he has a sexual addiction ... hence the reason why he was at the psychiatrist office) and we struck up a conversation. Told him where I live (which I should not have done) and he asked if my cousins were my kids and I said no (which I should not of done) and told him my name (which I really should not have done) and so forth.

Present times: I went to school this afternoon to pick up some math that I can work on while I am on my way to Texas. I was trying to go inside and this car pulled up and I heard someone say "Hey" I turn around. The conversation went something like this:

Boy: Weren't you in Opelika? You were with your daughters or nieces or cousins or something like that, weren't you? Didn't I see you there?

Me: Noooooooo, not me (at this point, I knew who it was. It was the guy that Aunt Judy told me who had a sexual addiction. I decide to play it cool :) )

Boy: Well, I know you from somewhere.

Me: Nope, never seen you before!

I get back in the car after going to the classroom and asked Mom if she saw the whole thing. She said no. I asked Mom if she remembered me telling her about the accident in Opelika and she said yes and as I told her what happened and she started laughing. I told her that I was going to call Aunt Judy and tell her. I called Aunt Judy and she did not laugh. If she did I did not hear it. So, I ask you:

DO I HAVE A STALKER NOW???